We had mixed success. I think that self monitoring is a good thing but I think that with Lukas, we ran the risk of increasing anxiety because too much of what we were doing was rule based. HOWEVER, I have known the method mentioned below to work well with other children. It is one of those things that we should have tweaked to his individual needs more. We do self monitoring a little with him now with school work and how well he works at school. For Lukas though, he is very aware if something is good/bad but sometimes, he doesn’t care! He doesn’t care if he is being obnoxious because it is more fun to be obnoxious than sit with a peer who is unresponsive. For Lukas , it was more about what was more reinforcing than monitoring. Also, the whole social story thing never seemed to really work for us. He knew and it didn’t need to be presented in a social story. Below is the self-monitoring and social stories we did. Like I said, he already knew all this stuff so we didn’t see great changes and in fact, saw that he somewhat resented having to constantly talk about his behavior.
Others though, claim great success with it.
Self Monitoring: the tutors and I do this constantly with him unless he is in the middle of peer play- then we do not interrupt peer play for this. We tell him to “rate” himself. We keep our hands behind our backs and in Rocks Paper Scissor style, he and the tutor hold a number out. If he rates himself HIGHER than the tutor, he is NOT reinforced and he has to try and justify it. If he rates himself the same as the tutor, he is reinforced for it (even if his rating is LOW- the point is that he recognizes it) This is the starting steps to hopefully getting him to independently self monitor.
___________________
Appropriate Behavior Stories
1st
Grade – Playing & Working
Appropriate Behavior Stories
1.
Grade
1 means self-control, be responsible, and not distracted.
2.
Grade
1 means focused (not distracted)
- 2 pages
3.
I
can have a self-monitor system for self-control (3 pages)
4.
Lukas’s
5-Step Program - How do I gain Self-Control ? (2-pages, includes 1- 5
Self-control scale)
5.
Quiet
Voice - I Can Speak Gently Even When I’m Excited (!)
6.
Quiet
Voice - Equation For Success: Relax +
Speak In A Soft Tone = People will Listen
7.
Quiet
Voice - When I Speak Gently, I Have Great Conversations
8.
I’m
Independent & Responsible
(Checklist)
9.
I’m
at school. I’m no fool, I’m cool!! What do I need to do? (Checklist)
10.Problems &
Solutions - If
I am BOSSY I will have No Friends
11.Problems &
Solutions - Getting Stuck on a subject
is Rude and boring
12.Problems &
Solutions - Squirming
in class annoys others.
13.No “hand-to-face” stuff at Circle Time
14.Faux Pas or Focused (6 pgs)
15.Checklist to fill in: “Three things I am really good
at in School…two things I need to be better at”
16.Wow … I am doing a great job at school !!
Lukas’ s Summer Job
Grade 1 means self-control, be responsible, and not
distracted.
Wow-I am almost 7 years old. I really want to be ready for GRADE 1 in one more month (August).
Most of the time, I am focused on the job I am doing. I really like that because of what I do and how I feel.
I
do:
I feel: .
-
I
am focused. I like that feeling of
getting things done.
-
I
do a great job. I feel proud of myself.
- I finish quickly.I feel great.
Now I can do
something else I like to do.
-
I
am acting more responsible .I feel really grown
up.
My than a kindergartener parents are proud of me.
-
I
show an example of beingI feel happy
because
a Good Leader to my sister and people want to be around
my brother and my friends me more.
-
When
I self-monitor, I can give I feel VERY
proud of MYSELF an 4 or 5 being responsible even when adults are not
around.
I can show that I am ready for Grade 1 even BEFORE
August
Lukas’s Summer Job
Grade 1 means focused (not
distracted).
1) When I want to do something I am really focused
(like making a
book )
I concentrate on ALL the tasks that need to get done. Even if it takes a long time and there are a lot of different things to do, I stay focused so I can get the WHOLE job
done well.
(get my paper,
turn computer on, get my Encarta CD,
ask for help in spelling, print, staple the book together, turn off computer.. )
2) When OTHERS
want ME to do something, I need to behave the same way.
|
NO |
YES |
|
a) An adult asks me to do something. |
a) An adult asks me to do
something. |
|
b) I start doing it, but
then get distracted and do something else.
I forget about my original
task. |
b) I go do it quickly and
correctly. |
|
c) I get frustrated when
the adult tells me to get back to the task. |
c) I go back to the adult
to let them know the job is done. |
|
Irresponsible, no self-control, no self-discipline. No one is
happy. |
Responsible, self-control, self-discipline. Everyone is
happy! |
|
When I am focused: |
When I am distracted: |
|
-
I understand clearly what I need to do. (If I don’t understand then I need to ask the adult for more
information) |
-
I feel confused about what I really should be doing. I forget what I am supposed to do and
start doing something else. |
|
-
Things get done quickly. |
-
Things seem to take a long time to get done because I am doing other stuff
in-between (distracted). |
|
-
Adults are proud of me because I focus on doing my best job. |
-
Adults feel disappointed with me because the task is not done quickly or
completely. |
|
-
I am proud of myself for being responsible and self-disciplined. |
-
Then I get frustrated too. Now I rush
to get the task done and don’t do my best job. |
|
Oh YES! -
Now I am ready to do the next activity.
Or I have time to do something on my own (fun activity). |
Oh NO! -
I may have to do the task over again.
Or now there isn’t any more time to do what I would like to do (fun
activity). |
Grade 1 students should be responsible, self-disciplined, and show self-control in the many different situations they are in.
Teachers and other adults expect Grade 1’s to try their best to behave appropriately at all times, without always being reminded bout what to do.
Grade 1 -- that’s me!!!
Being Responsible –
Self-Monitor Scale 1-5
|
5 |
Awesome DUDE !! I did what I was suppose to do without
distractions. I did it without being
reminded and I did it in a timely manner! |
|
4 |
Wow. Good job. I got distracted
for only a second or so but in a blink of an eye, I got back on track and
finished my work. |
|
3 |
Okay I guess. I got distracted for a little bit (a minute
or so) but I got back on track and controlled myself. That is still okay. |
|
2 |
I got distracted and the adult had to clear their throat
a bit and get my attention before I got back to my task |
|
1 |
Someone
had to ask me if I was distracted and remind me to task. Oops.
Strike one |
|
0 |
I
needed lots of help getting back to
work. I did not have any self
control. I was distracted. Strike 2 |
I
can have a Self-monitor system for Self-control (scale of 1-5)
“Self- monitor” means
that I look at my own behavior to see if I am acting appropriately or
not and how quickly I can gain self-control.
Ø I know if my behavior is appropriate behavior or if it is
not.
Ø Maybe I can fool other
people by hiding things or not telling the truth, but I am not fooling myself.
- “Yes, I did a really good job brushing my teeth”
- “No I didn’t take that colored pencil.”
Ø Self-monitor means that I always tell myself the truth
-
“Did
I do my best right now?”
-
“Did
I really do what I was asked to do, and do it properly?”
and
I evaluate the
job I did -- how did I do?
- “What kind of job did I do (scale of 1- 5)?”
“Self- control” means
that I can stop, relax and solve the problem without an adult telling me to
“relax”.
Ø It’s easy to have
self-control when everything is going great.
Ø It is hard to have
self-control when things are not going well, or if someone else makes me feel
angry.
Ø Babies can’t control their
behavior (they have fussy tantrums).
When I lose control of my behavior (being rude, yelling, or crying) I am
being like a 3 or 4 year old. I am not
acting like a first grader.
Ø But I’m going to be 7 years
old! The older I get, the more I can
CONTROL my behavior. I can gain
self-control.
Ø even if I’m frustrated when
someone else doesn’t act appropriately (doesn’t
share, cheats, doesn’t want to play my activity when it is my turn), I can
still control MYSELF and act even older than my real age.
It’s
really hard to control my behavior, especially when I’m MAD.
But
I know I can do it if I STOP, RELAX, think DOUBLE-or-NOTHING, and CHOOSE to
gain self-control like a 7year old (or even older).
Ø
So
even if adults are not around to see what I do,
I can tell myself
“Boy did I ever gain control quickly this time. That’s a 5 on the
scale!”
Ø
How
old do I really want to be …. ? (remember older kids can go to concerts and
stay up late!)
Ø
Hey…
if I lose control, I may even lose my friends. No one wants to be around a fussy out-of-control person. I know I certainly don’t want to be around
someone acting like that.
I am a big kid. I need self-control.
I am responsible for my own
behavior.
I am proud of myself when I
gain self-control.
Lukas’s 5-step Program
How do I gain Self-Control ?
1)
I have a problem.
-
usually
because someone else doesn’t act like I want them to. (they don’t wanna play my game, they don’t want to wait their
turn, they want my toy)
2)
I feel frustrated.
-
STOP!! I am still responsible for my own
behavior.
-
Right
now I have a CHOICE. If I make the
wrong decision, then it is MY behavior that will be inappropriate.
3) Relax.
-
to
gain self-control, I first need to relax
(Breathe and Relax my body)
4)
Gain Self-control.
-
gain
control of myself and my actions.
-
think
about what a leader would do in this situation.
5) Solve the Problem
-
act on the solution you choose to solve the problem.
How Does the 1-5 Self-Control Scale Work?
|
5 |
Immediate self-control. Fantastic! |
|
4 |
Fuss for less than 5 econd, then gain self-control. I can think things but I don’t say them. |
|
3 |
I fuss and yell at the person before I stopped to think and Relax and solve the problem. |
|
2 |
An adult had to tell me to stop and Relax before I could gain control and solve the problem. |
|
1 |
I lost control and refused to solve the problem even when an adult asked me to after I calmed down. |
|
0 |
I lost all control and an adult had to take me away |
I CAN SPEAK GENTLY
EVEN WHEN I’M EXCITED (!)
Sometimes
I'm very excited when I talk to someone and I say things too loud.
I
forget to use my gentle voice.
That
is not a good thing. Nobody wants to
have a loudmouth screaming in their ear !
I
know I would rather talk to someone who speaks gently than someone who yells.
I
like to speak with people who use a gentle voice.
I
always speak in a gentle tone so people will want to listen to me.
Equation for Success:
RELAX
+ SPEAK IN A SOFT TONE
= PEOPLE WILL LISTEN
The most pleasant sound in the world is someone's
gentle, quiet, relaxed voice.
When I yell or talk really loudly when I’m right in
front of someone, it makes them feel uncomfortable. It can even hurt their ears, too!
Talking loud makes people want to get away from
me. They don’t like to listen to a
really loud voice.
It’s okay to talk loudly when I’m far away and I
need to get their attention. But… when I’m talking beside someone, I
try really hard to speak in a soft, gentle tone so people will listen to
me.
Not only do people like me better when I use my best
voice, but I feel more relaxed too.
Relax my body… relax my voice… people will listen.
WHEN I SPEAK GENTLY, I HAVE
GREAT CONVERSATIONS
I
love to talk to other people and other people like to hear me talk.
I
don't have to yell for other people to be interested in what I have to say.
As
a matter of fact, if I talk in a gentle tone and don't shout, people will care
more about what I have to say.
I
must always use my gentle voice in conversations.
When
I use my gentle voice and speak quietly, people listen to what I say.
Hey…
I like that !!
I’m
Independent & Responsible
First thing – every day
1)
wake
up
2)
go
to the bathroom
3) do my chore chart.
Next thing – school/camp Days
4)
eat
breakfast/medicine
5)
put
dishes in the dishwasher
6)
pack
backpack (books,
supplies, allowance)
7)
brush
teeth
Last thing
8)
Get
Dressed
9)
Say
Good Bye
I’m at school. I’m no fool, I’m cool!!
What do I need to do?
Problems &
Solutions – Appropriate Behavior
If I am BOSSY I will have No
Friends
I
know that being “BOSSY” is not appropriate behavior.
No
friend wants to play with someone who is bossy.
1)
Being
bossy is when I tell my friends what to do instead of ASKING them what they
would like to do.
“You go over there and do
that”
instead of
“Do you want to go over there and do that?”
2)
Being
bossy is when I tell the other kids things that is the Teacher’s job to tell
the kids. I feel that I am just
reminding them, but that is NOT my job.
That’s the teacher’s job.
“Ok everyone, sit and draw a butterfly.”
instead of
“Should we
all draw butterflies now?”
3)
Being
bossy is when I want to hog all the turns when I am playing with my friends.
“I want to be use the mouse”
instead of
“Can
I use the mouse again?”
The BEST WAY to make sure
that I am NOT being bossy is to
ASK A QUESTION instead of making a statement.
STOP !
THINK .
Say
it again in a QUESTION ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Problems & Solutions – Appropriate Behavio
Getting Stuck is Rude
Behavior
Getting
stuck on the same topic is rude behavior.Others do not want to be around
someone who talks about the same thing over and over again. It makes others
think you are boring It makes them feel annoyed or uncomfortable.
What is the difference between
being interested in something and being
stuckon something.
Getting
stuck is
Ø
telling
someone something that you care about and not caring if they are
interested or not interested.
“I like
snakes. I touched a snake . I saw aa
kind cobra. It was cool. I also saw a garter snake. (being stuck)
“I like
snakes. I saw a kind of Cobra at the zoo. Do you like snakes? (statement/question=
good)
Ø
telling
someone that they like something just because you do
Lukas’s
friend: I don’t like snakes.
Lukas: Yes you do! (being stuck)
Lukas’s
friend: I don’t like snakes
Lukas: Oh. I like them. What do you like? (Comment/question)
Sometimes getting stuck is talking about something
too long even if the other person was at one point interested. People can lose interest if you go on too
long.
Lukas: Know what I did?
Lukas’s Friend: what?
Lukas: I went to the zoo and saw a really cool
snake.
Lukas’s friend: What kind?
Lukas: I saw a cobra snake. I also saw a garter snake. I touched one at
the Pet Smart in Anderson. I also touched one at zoo camp. My mom saw a snake at the botanical gardens.
She yelled. I look up snakes on the computer. My aunt Bridgette bought me a
rubber snake. It is big. (going on
too long)
THINK
and ASK yourself:
1)
If
I talk about this, how will it make the other person feel?
Will they get bored?
2)
How would I feel if someone talked for a long time about something I didn’t care about?
Problems & Solutions –
Appropriate Behavior
No Shouting out Answers at
School
When I am in a group, the adult in charge usually asks the group questions:
q
Mrs
X – at school
q
MRs
X – in the Library
q
Mrs
X – at camp
q
Mrs. –
at choir
q
Sunday
school teacher – at Church
_____________________________________________________
1)
Sometimes the adult in
charge is asking the WHOLE GROUP to answer the question: “What
letter is this?”
2)
But, sometimes the adult in
charge is asking a SPECIFIC PERSON to answer the question. How do I know that?
q
USE NAME - they say the name of the
person “Cole, what key are we in?”
q
POINT (Gesture) – sometimes if they are
talking fast, they just point at the person they want to answer the question.
q
TURNS IN ORDER - they go around the group
in order, so I can see that my turn will be after the person beside me.
q
RAISE HANDS - they tell the group to
RAISE their hand if they know the answer.
Then kids are called on one by one.
Maybe I don’t even get a turn.
There’s no time to give everyone a turn ALL the time.
PROBLEM:
If
I just shout out the answers when it is not my turn, then I am stealing other people’s turns. That is inappropriate behavior.
I do this a LOT, so I know that it is a PROBLEM for me right now.
SOLVING THE PROBLEM:
I
am a big boy. I try to solve
problems.
For
this one, I need to STOP, THINK, and ASK myself this question:
“Does she want
the GROUP to answer this question out loud OR should I RAISE MY HAND and wait
for her to call me?”
q
Right
now I need some help to solve the problem, so I learn to do what I am supposed
to do. (1-2-3-strike out)
q
Getting
“1-2-3” is still a lot of chances to remember what to do. I need to watch carefully to see what
the adult in charge wants me to do.
q
I
don’t like strike out, BUT if I get one, then I act like a responsible
boy. I don’t want to fuss in front of
my friends at school. I will go quietly
for my time-out.
q
Then
when it is over, I can go back and try harder next time.
It might take a
little while to get it right most of the time.
I am a big boy, but I will try
hard to get it right.
1)
When
X says “Who knows the answer” or she says “Who knows what comes next?”. Who should answer the question?
____ only a
specific person or ____ the whole group
-
Everyone
should talk at the same speed. __
yes __
no
-
You
should talk faster than the whole group
is talking.
__
yes __
no
-
You
can decide not to answer with the group. __
yes __
no
-
You
should talk with the same rhythm or
chant as the whole group. __
yes __
no
-
If
you are not sure if the group should answer,
you should just raise your hand anyway and ask. __ yes
__ no
Problems &
Solutions – Appropriate Behavior
No “Hand-to-Face” stuff at
Circle Time
Problem:
q
Picking
my nose is not appropriate behavior.
q
Touching
my lips and rubbing my face is not appropriate behavior.
Solution:
q
At
Circle Time -- my hands go in my
lap (“Check 5”).
q
If
my lips feel dry -- I use my lip stuff
in my pocket.
q
If
I my nose itches -- I go get my
tissues.
But…I still have the same
problem:
q
I
am still doing the behavior.
q
I
need to think harder. Remember what I
AM supposed to do.
Solution:
q
Someone
will have to help me solve the problem, so I do what I am supposed to do
(1-2-3-strike out).
q
Getting
“1-2-3” is still a lot of chances to remember what to do.
I don’t like striking out, BUT if I get one, then I
act like a responsible boy. I don’t
want to fuss in front of my friends at school.
I will time myself out and think about what I did.
q
Then
when it is over, I can go back and try harder next time.
I am almost 7 years
old. I am a big boy.
I need to remember to do
appropriate behavior, even if adults aren’t around to remind me. I can do it!!!
FAUX PAS or
FOCUSED ?
Baby-à Pre-school --àkindergarten ---àMe (1st grade) ---à teenager --à _adult_________old age
I am almost seven years old.
Now that I am in 1st Grade, I need to behave more
like an Big Kid and less like a baby.
Most
of the time, Big Kids are focused.
That
means that they try to do their best all the time.
Big
Kids are responsible. They need to get a lot of things done properly.
Now
I need to get focused on all the things that I do.
If
I am not focused, then I can’t do things my very best. Also, I can’t learn how to do new things
properly, because I am not paying attention.
I know that being focused is a very important
I am proud of myself when I do my very best.
When am I FOCUSED?
q _____________________________________
q _____________________________________
q _____________________________________
I am FOCUSED when I can:
- listen carefully
- follow instructions
- behave appropriately with my actions
- be polite with my words
- be patient when I have to wait
When am I doing FAUX PAS?
q goofing
off in class
(not paying attention, take someone’s question)
q giggling
or laughing when the teacher or adult is talking (not listening, being rude)
q say or do
inappropriate things just to get attention from kids/adults (being rude)
q _____________________________________
q _____________________________________
I am doing FAUX PAS when I am:
- being rude
-
not
following instructions
- getting distracted
- not listening carefully or the first time
- not paying attention
-
acting
silly or strange (ask yourself … if I saw someone else doing this,
what would I think – focused or faux pas?)
THREE THINGS that I am REALLY GOOD AT
in Class:
1)
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
2)
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
3)
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
TWO THING that I
would like to GET BETTER AT
in class:
1) _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
2) _______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Name: ________________________________________________________ Date: _______________________
WOW … I AM DOING
A GREAT JOB AT
SCHOOL !!
q
q
q
q
q
q
When
we do group activities, I really try to do my very best. I have learned a lot of appropriate behavior
and I do it in class at school.
-
sit
properly
-
look
at people when they talk to me
-
listen
when the teacher is talking
-
raise
my hand to ask a question, so I don’t interrupt
-
don’t
get distracted
-
cooperate
with other kids
-
stand
straight in line and keep near the person in front of me.
-
RELAX
I
am so proud of myself. Everyone else is
proud of me too! WOW… I really am a BIG
boy.
I
NEED TO LISTEN TO ADULTS
THE
FIRST TIME
-
adults
are in charge
-
sometimes
more than one adult is in charge at the same time. That means they are a team
-
when
an adult in charge asks me to do something, then I have to listen
-
I
have to listen the FIRST time
-
No
arguing, No fussing, No talking back
If I can’t listen to the
adult in charge the first time they ask me do do something, then I will get
1-2-3.
That’s
it! I need to listen the first time,
and do what I am told to do.
APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASSROOM
I
am a first grader. I am a big responsible boy.
I
have learned a lot of appropriate behaviors.
I
also know that I have to do them at school.
The
ones that I must do ALL THE TIME at school are:
1)
Listen the first time when
an adult tells me
to do something.
2)
No arguing with adults.
If I cannot
comply with these TWO RULES of appropriate behavior in my 1st grade
class,
then I will
get 1-2-3 and your out.
“Strike a Balance”
with Snakes & Other things
I
really like Snakes. The good thing about
that is when I get to be an adult, I can pick a job where I can be around
snakes a lot.
The problem is that when I am a child, not everyone
is as interested in snakes as I am.
So what should I do?
1)
I
need to “strike a balance” between snakes and other things. This means that I can still play with snakes
and talk about snakes, but not all the time.
2)
“Strike
a balance” means that one time can I pick snakes to talk about or to play
with. Then the next time I need to pick
something else to talk about or play with.
If
I only talk about snakes and play with snakes,
then other kids will just think I am boring. I want to have lots of friends, so I know that I can “strike a
balance”.
I can “Strike a Balance” in
the pool
What can I do at the pool when what I really want to do
is Atlantis?
|
|
|
Other fun play: -
Ask a friend if they can dive under water -
Ask a friend if they want to play with the splat ball -
Ask a friend what games they like to play -
Pretend to be a sea animal -
Pretend to be an Olympic swimmer -
Have a contest on who can hold their breath the longest. -
Have a contest to see who can get the toy off the bottom of the pool
first |
Atlantis play: -
ask a friend if they saw the movie -
share my diving subs -
ask a friend if they have seen a sub -
ask a friend if they want to pretend to be searching for the lost
city of atlantis. -
|